Nick's 1st Annual Year's Best in Sports, the 2007 edition.
Award: Best postgame meltdown
Winner: Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State Football
If you have not laughed to tears every time you hear Gundy scream, "I'm a man! I'm 40!" then you have no soul.
Award: Best attempt at being a legitimate team
Winner: Colorado Rockies
The only players anyone on this team will remember is Troy Tulowitzki, well, because his last name is Tulowitzki.
Award: Best coach who also tried to shoot a guy
Winner: Bob Knight
Knight has previously won awards for, "Best coach who also choked a guy", "Best coach who also threw a chair at a guy" and "Best coach who also smacked a player in the face". He is a front-runner for next year's "Best coach who no one thought would actually kill somebody, but ended up actually killing somebody" award.
Award: Best attempt by a team to get its coach fired
Winner: Michigan football
Yes, the Wolverines may have made nice-nice with Lloyd Carr, winner of five Big Ten titles and a national championship, by carrying him off the field after beating Florida on New Year's Day. But losing to Appalachian State in the Big House to open the season was a good way to send a message. In case he didn't get it, they lost to Oregon at home on the following weekend. Nice.
Award: Best golfer who also looks like Joaquin Phoenix
Winner: Zach Johnson
This guy appeared to come out of nowhere to win the 2007 Masters'. But in the words of George W. Bush, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again. We all know that Johnson is really the same guy that starred as the man in black.
Award: Best named college to also be defeated by a team that made 15 laterals in one play
Winner: Millsaps
This school is named Millsaps...enough said.
Award: Best safety who also stomped on an opponent's head to be drafted by a 16-0 NFL team
Winner: Brandon Meriweather
This guy should join Pac Man Jones (see Best safety who is also addicted strip clubs) in the professional wrestling ranks. But I'll keep him on the Pats for now.
Perhaps more later...until now...signing off.
Award: Best postgame meltdown
Winner: Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State Football
If you have not laughed to tears every time you hear Gundy scream, "I'm a man! I'm 40!" then you have no soul.
Award: Best attempt at being a legitimate team
Winner: Colorado Rockies
The only players anyone on this team will remember is Troy Tulowitzki, well, because his last name is Tulowitzki.
Award: Best coach who also tried to shoot a guy
Winner: Bob Knight
Knight has previously won awards for, "Best coach who also choked a guy", "Best coach who also threw a chair at a guy" and "Best coach who also smacked a player in the face". He is a front-runner for next year's "Best coach who no one thought would actually kill somebody, but ended up actually killing somebody" award.
Award: Best attempt by a team to get its coach fired
Winner: Michigan football
Yes, the Wolverines may have made nice-nice with Lloyd Carr, winner of five Big Ten titles and a national championship, by carrying him off the field after beating Florida on New Year's Day. But losing to Appalachian State in the Big House to open the season was a good way to send a message. In case he didn't get it, they lost to Oregon at home on the following weekend. Nice.
Award: Best golfer who also looks like Joaquin Phoenix
Winner: Zach Johnson
This guy appeared to come out of nowhere to win the 2007 Masters'. But in the words of George W. Bush, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again. We all know that Johnson is really the same guy that starred as the man in black.
Award: Best named college to also be defeated by a team that made 15 laterals in one play
Winner: Millsaps
This school is named Millsaps...enough said.
Award: Best safety who also stomped on an opponent's head to be drafted by a 16-0 NFL team
Winner: Brandon Meriweather
This guy should join Pac Man Jones (see Best safety who is also addicted strip clubs) in the professional wrestling ranks. But I'll keep him on the Pats for now.
Perhaps more later...until now...signing off.
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